Pennies from Heaven

Brother's first costume
Originally uploaded by kristn1284

November 12, 2008

Dear Brother:

Yes, that is what we call you, Brother. There has been a name selected for you but I need to know it is correct before I can refer to you that way. I would not want to assign you a name only to meet you and say “Why he is certainly a Fred, Joe or Xavier, not the name I thought at all!” When I see you, I will know, you will know. I will say it; you can nod, smile, or let out a big yell. We have a connection already little man, we can communicate about these things.

You & I are kindred spirits my son, we have so much in common already. First of all you are breech, meaning you are standing up in my belly, not head down ready to be born. While this causes most people to look at me with an expression of sympathy I can understand it. You see, I was a breech baby. I have been standing up for myself since before I was born. There is something to be said for independence, a trait that will serve you well throughout your life. Thank goodness medical advancements have been made in the past 36 years, you & I will not have to go through what your Nana & I went though. I am hoping for smooth sailing during your transition into this world.

Your due date is New Years Eve although it seems you are trying your darndest to get here before Christmas. I don’t blame you, our family does Christmas right. The house is decorated within an inch of its life; there is the cookie bake off, the gifts, food, stockings. I wouldn’t want to miss it either. If you are born cesarean you will be here and home long before the day arrives, even if you turn I am told you are a good size and they expect you to arrive long before you due date at the end of the month. Either way, you will be the best Christmas gift I have ever received.

Another quality you & I share is you are an unexpected gift. With your sister we tried for years. I charted, doctored, tested and prayed for the longest time until her arrival (I will explain how all this works to you someday, in about 12 years). Then there was you. When I thought I had exhausted my blessings and didn’t dare ask for another, suddenly the clouds opened up and down came pennies from heaven. I knew you from the moment of conception (again, we’ll get to that part later), I told your Dad before a test was taken you were on the way. My heart just knew. I also knew that the best kind of gift is the kind you do not ask for. Always know what a wonderful blessing you are and how in awe I am of you, and have been since the very beginning.

This is why we have chosen the name Nathaniel for you. It means “Gift from God” in Hebrew. (The origin being a nod to your Aunt Stacie who missed out on a namesake when your gender was determined.) Because you are truly a gift from God, one I will always appreciate and be honored by.

Now, get here safe & sound. There are so many people waiting to meet you, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, friends. Everyone has been looking forward to your arrival, but no one more than me.

With all my love,

Mama